How to talk to a pregnant woman

Apparently when a lot of people see a pregnant woman, the part of their brain that filters out dumb and rude comments malfunctions.  I'm not sure why this is, but after going through 2 pregnancies and getting the same comments, I thought I'd put a public service announcement out there in case you or someone you know suffers from this brain filter malfunction.

What NOT to say to a pregnant woman:

• "Wow you're huge!"  (It's never ever polite to say this to anyone, but especially a pregnant woman.  Trust me, we feel huge enough, there's no need to have it pointed out to us repeatedly) 
• "You look like you could go any day now!"  (This is BIG TIME brain filter malfunction.  Please don't ever say that to a pregnant woman.  There's nothing worse than getting this comment everyday when you're no where near your due date.  If you think that's how a pregnant woman looks, please keep it to yourself)
• "You aren't going to make it to your due date."  (Really?  Are you my OB?  Have you been examining me?  Do you know what my uterus/body are capable of?  No?  Ok then kindly keep your opinion to yourself.  I personally carried a 10lb 2oz baby to 39wks and 5days and let me tell you, had they not done a scheduled c-section, that baby would have probably stayed until 42 weeks.  Besides, preterm labor and preemie births are not something a mother wants for her child.  We like them to bake as long as possible.)
• "Are you having twins?" or "Is there just one in there?"  (Ugh, this is my 'favorite' brain filter malfunction.  Seriously, why on Earth would you ever ask this?????  If a woman is having multiples, she will more than likely offer up that information.  You do not need to EVER ask this.
• "You're really carrying your weight in your *insert specific body part*"  (I don't care if I look like Shamu, please don't tell me I look swollen or where I'm carrying my weight.  Pregnant women are well aware of how their body has changed and where they've gained...you don't need to point it out.  You wouldn't say this to a regular person, why say it to a pregnant woman???)

Things that are appropriate to say to a pregnant woman:

• "You look beautiful!"  (I honestly don't care if you're lying through your teeth, hearing that can make the worst days amazing.)
• "Look how cute your tummy is!!"  (This is a subtle way of commenting on the size of someone's tummy but remaining tactful and kind.  This is always a safe comment to say to a pregnant woman.)
• "Not too much longer!!"  (Even if a woman has 6 months to go, this is just a sweet way of being encouraging.)

To sum things up: Please think before you speak.  Please think about what you're asking/saying.  To constantly have people tell you you're big and fat is very annoying and hurtful.  You really shouldn't ever comment on someone's size...same rules apply to a pregnant woman.  Think about what you would like said to you if you were pregnant. And if you're a guy, just stick with the simple "Congratulations" and "You look great" and you're golden.  If you think a pregnant woman looks just awful and you think she's huge...that's fine.  You're entitled to your opinion...just keep it to yourself and don't tell her. 

In honor of this post, here is a little picture of something I'm VERY tempted to order...because I know I'm going to continue to run into the brain filter malfunction people and continue to get the same questions.  Just to save everyone time: